Most of the time we look for the obvious to determine if a person is happy or sad. The truth is some people have been living in unhappiness so long that they forgot what its like to be happy anymore. It takes the average adult half of their adult lifetime to really recognize their own unhappiness. This does not include people who had miserable childhoods or have had a history of abuse. Those fall in the category of obvious reason. Many times by the time a person realizes they are not happy they are in their late middle to older years. When this realization occurs in our Mid life we usually see it manifest as a mid life crisis.
Here now is a check list of the common thoughts and behavior characteristics of a happy person:
1. The average happy person is not concerned with whether life is fair or not they want to make the best of life period
2. Happy people tend to view life as an adventure rather than a test. A journey full of fun rather than an ego trip. They see things more like a game than a competition.
3. These type of people are not so attached to false ideas of perfection in terms of image or lifestyle. They want to live life, learn as they do, and develop themselves and enjoy it as they do.
4. Happy people are secure in their own skin. Other people's opinions and events are not as important to them. Like everyone they appreciate a nice compliment but they do not seek external validation and never compare themselves to others to define their own self worth.
5. People that are happy tend to be less judgmental of others. They can be open and accepting of others including more tolerant of other peoples mistakes. They don't get offended at the drop of a hat and are less critical of others and themselves in general.
6. They have less need to control events and other people. When they do use control it is a consciously planned as opposed to an obsessive or emotional reaction to things. Their need to control is not an obsession.
7. Happy people have more peace, courage, hope and confidence. They feel less fear, anxiety, worry, stress or anger than unhappy people.
8. People like to be around them because of their relaxed demeanors. They tend to be less inhibited, happy, spontaneous and fun to be around.
9. Because of their open minded and positive disposition they can easily relate to people and vice versa. Happy people can build strong relationships with others. People are supportive of happy people.
10. They have the capacity to be successful for what they set out to do because they do not focus on being preoccupied with negative experiences. This helps them with their mental capacity and energy levels to succeed.
11. Happy people are attached to other happy people and situations. They will watch a comedy over a murder.
12. Happy people love the simple pleasures, they can enjoy a sunrise, a good dish, a job well done, good conversation, a good night's sleep, love and passion.
13. They are generally more cheerful and less depressed.
Now just as you looked at the first set of guidelines to see how many you have if you are unhappy do the same to see how many you have as a happy person. The next thing to ask yourself if you do have some is how do you maintain the ones you have and improve the quality of happiness you already have.
There are three types of people in relation to happiness. They are the: RW's, WR's and the RR's. RW's are the people who do the Right things for the Wrong reasons. These people are successful on the outside but sad or unhappy inside. Then you have the WR people, they do They do Wrong things for the Right reasons. WR people have good intentions but cause needless suffering to others. Finally we have the RR people. RR's do the Right things for the Right reasons. These are the happy people who enjoy life. Unfortunately there aren't enough RR's.
There is no such thing as a pain free life. Emotional pain is a valuable tool because it serves as a gauge to let us know that we have to re examine our environments and values. This does not include things we cannot control in our lives these are situations we put ourselves in. Pain is useful to let us know that what is causing the pain has to be eliminated if we want the pain to stop. This includes those things we can change if we are unhappy.
Our society is programmed for quick fixes. Many times in order to change from an unhappy state to a happy one requires a process of change that starts with our mind set. Yes there are medications or drugs available to change the chemicals in our brain and reduce the stress to induce a sense of well being in us. But these are not permanent cures. These are temporary. To truly experience happiness we have to undergo change and development which is a continuous process. In addition to mindset happiness is also contingent upon the choices we make in terms of values and lifestyles. When we make those choices work for our lives we tend to be happier people in a happier state of being.
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